How does Breathwork Ease Anxiety and Stress? Simple Techniques Explained

Breathwork is a practice that involves consciously changing your breathing patterns to influence your mental, emotional, and physical state. When you're feeling anxious or stressed, your breath tends to become shallow and rapid, a natural response from your sympathetic nervous system which prepares you for 'fight or flight'. By altering your breathing rhythm through breathwork, you can activate your parasympathetic nervous system, which helps your body to relax and calm down.

The techniques used in breathwork can vary, from deep diaphragmatic breathing to more structured patterns like the 4-7-8 method or alternate nostril breathing. These methods increase the supply of oxygen to your brain and promote a state of calmness. Moreover, focusing on your breath takes your mind away from stress-inducing thoughts, centering your attention on the present moment, which is a form of mindfulness. This mindfulness component of breathwork can make you more aware of your body and mental state, enabling you to better manage symptoms of anxiety and stress.

Understanding Anxiety and Stress

When you encounter stress and anxiety, your body's fight-or-flight response is activated, preparing you for perceived threats. This section will explore the underpinnings of these physiological responses.

Biological Basis of Stress

Your body reacts to stressors by releasing hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones lead to a burst of energy, elevated heart rate, and increased blood pressure. This response is part of your body's ancient survival mechanisms. Here's what typically happens:

  • Adrenaline: Quickens your heartbeat and gives you a surge of energy.

  • Cortisol: Known as the stress hormone, it alters or shuts down functions that are non-essential in a fight-or-flight situation.

Biological Basis of Anxiety

Anxiety, while similar to stress, is often associated with a persistent feeling of apprehension or fear. The key biological factors involve:

  • Neurotransmitters: Chemical messengers like serotonin and gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA) that may be imbalanced during anxiety.

  • Brain Regions: The amygdala and hippocampus play a significant role in anxiety disorders, influencing your threat perception and memory.

Fundamentals of Breathwork

Breathwork refers to a variety of techniques that utilize intentional control of breathing to enhance mental, physical, and spiritual well-being.

Definition and History

Breathwork is the practice of conscious, intentional breathing methods developed over centuries, with roots in various cultural traditions. Eastern practices such as yoga have long recognized the power of the breath in meditation and physical exercises. Breathwork as a formal discipline started emerging in the mid-20th century, combining traditional breathing techniques with contemporary psychological insights.

Types of Breathwork Practices

Several breathwork methods are designed to serve different purposes. Below are two primary styles:

  1. Rhythmic Breathing: It involves inhaling and exhaling at a steady pace to induce relaxation. An example is the 4-7-8 technique, where you inhale for four seconds, hold for seven, exhale for eight, and repeat.

  2. Holotropic Breathing: This is a deeper practice aimed at inducing altered states of consciousness for therapeutic and spiritual growth, where you breathe rapidly and deeply for extended periods.

Through these structured techniques, you're encouraged to utilize breath control to manage your stress and anxiety levels.

Physiological Effects of Breathwork

Breathwork can facilitate profound changes in your physiological state, directly impacting your nervous system and stress hormone levels.

Impact on the Nervous System

When you engage in breathwork, you activate your vagus nerve. This nerve is a crucial part of your parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for calming your body after stress. Deep, slow breathing increases vagal tone, signaling your body to relax and lower heart rate. Conversely, rapid, shallow breathing can do the opposite, hinting at a stress response. By controlling your breath, you can shift your body from a state of fight-or-flight (sympathetic activation) to rest-and-digest (parasympathetic activation).

  • Slow, deep breathing: Increases parasympathetic response, promoting relaxation.

  • Rapid, shallow breathing: Can trigger sympathetic response, associated with stress.

Influence on Stress Hormones

Your breath has a direct influence on your endocrine system, which regulates hormones, including cortisol, known as the "stress hormone." By using breathwork techniques, you can regulate cortisol production, thus lowering your stress levels. This decrease in cortisol can lead to an overall sense of calm and can help mitigate the physical side effects of stress.

  • Cortisol production: Can be regulated through controlled breathing practices.

  • Physical side effects: Lowered stress hormone levels can reduce symptoms like high blood pressure and a fast heart rate.

Breathwork Techniques for Anxiety Reduction

In managing anxiety, certain breathwork techniques can be particularly effective. These methods help regulate your nervous system and promote relaxation.

Diaphragmatic Breathing

What You Need to Know:
Diaphragmatic breathing, also known as belly breathing, is a foundational breath technique to reduce anxiety. By engaging the diaphragm, it increases oxygen exchange and stimulates the calming response within your body.

How to Practice:

  1. Find a comfortable position: Sit or lie down, placing one hand on your chest and the other on your belly.

  2. Inhale Slowly: Breathe in through your nose, ensuring that your diaphragm inflates with enough air to create a stretch in your lungs.

  3. Exhale Gradually: Purse your lips and exhale slowly, engaging your stomach muscles to push out the breath.

Box Breathing

What You Need to Know:
Box breathing is a simple yet powerful technique to manage anxiety. It involves breathing in four equal parts and can bring immediate relief during stressful times.

How to Practice:

  1. Inhale: Slowly count to four as you breathe in.

  2. Hold: Keep your breath inside while silently counting to four.

  3. Exhale: Release your breath to another count of four.

  4. Hold Again: Complete the "box" by holding your breath out for the final count of four.

Alternate Nostril Breathing

What You Need to Know:
Alternate nostril breathing, known as Nadi Shodhana in the yogic tradition, is a technique that harmonizes the left and right hemispheres of the brain, resulting in reduced anxiety and a calm mind.

How to Practice:

  1. Prepare: Sit comfortably with your spine erect and shoulders relaxed. Place your left hand on your left knee.

  2. Position: Make a "peace" sign with your right hand, fold the two extended fingers down, and use your thumb and ring finger to control your nostrils.

  3. Begin: Gently close your right nostril with your thumb and inhale through your left nostril.

  4. Switch: Close your left nostril with your ring finger, open your right nostril, and exhale slowly. Then, inhale through your right nostril.

  5. Repeat: Close your right nostril again, and exhale through your left. Continue this alternating pattern for several cycles.

Integrating Breathwork Into Daily Life

Incorporating breathwork into your routine can be simple and rewarding. Start with allocating a few minutes each day, gradually increasing the time as you become more comfortable with the practice.

Morning Energizer:

  • Begin your day with a few rounds of energizing breath, such as the Bellows Breath (Bhastrika).

  • Inhale and exhale rapidly through your nose, keeping each breath short and powerful.

  • Practice for one minute to kick start your morning with clarity and focus.

Desk De-stress:
While at work, take short breathwork breaks to manage stress.

  • Use the 4-7-8 technique: inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, exhale for 8.

  • Repeat this cycle four times to quickly restore a sense of calm.

Evening Wind Down:
Prepare your body for rest with soothing breathing exercises.

  • Practice Diaphragmatic Breathing by placing one hand on your chest and the other on your belly.

  • Breathe deeply through your nose, ensuring your diaphragm inflates with enough air to create a stretch in your lungs.

  • Spend 5-10 minutes each evening to signal your body it's time to relax.

Mindful Moments:
Throughout your day, use breath awareness to stay present.

  • Take a moment to notice your breath during daily tasks, like waiting in line or walking to your car.

  • A few mindful breaths can center your thoughts and reduce anxiety.

Remember to listen to your body and modify the practices to suit your needs. Regular breathwork can help create an overall sense of well-being and reduce anxiety and stress over time.

How Chronic Stress Is Slowly Killing You

We all experience stress from time to time - whether it's a looming deadline at work, arguments with family members, or difficulties making ends meet financially. Short term stress can even be beneficial in small doses, helping us meet challenges and get things done.

However, when stress becomes chronic and ongoing, it takes a significant toll on our mind and body. Our immune system, which is designed to protect us from illness, can actually be weakened by long term activation of our stress response.

To understand how chronic stress impacts immunity, it helps to know a bit about how our stress system works. When we perceive a threat, whether real or imagined, our brain triggers a complex reaction known as the stress response. The hypothalamus activates the sympathetic nervous system, which increases heart rate and blood pressure to prepare the body for fight or flight. It also signals the adrenal glands to release hormones like cortisol and adrenaline into our bloodstream.

Cortisol, in particular, plays a key role in modulating inflammatory and immune responses. In small, time-limited bursts it helps energy mobilization and returns our body to homeostasis once the threat passes. But under chronic stress, cortisol levels remain elevated for prolonged periods. Our brain essentially has the stress response stuck "on", as renowned trauma therapist Bessel van der Kolk explains, because it perceives danger even when none exists externally.

This constant drip feed of cortisol and other stress hormones takes a toll on our immune defenses. According to pioneering epigeneticist Bruce Lipton, chronic stress creates an internal environment that favors inflammation over immune protection. It causes immune cells like lymphocytes and natural killer cells to become less effective at fighting viruses, bacteria and tumors. At the same time, inflammatory cytokines like interleukin-6 increase and wreak cellular damage over the long term.

The consequences of this immune dysregulation can be serious. Many studies have linked prolonged stress to susceptibility to colds, flu and other infections. It also exacerbates allergic and autoimmune conditions like asthma, irritable bowel disease and rheumatoid arthritis by enhancing inflammatory pathways. Perhaps most alarmingly, stress may even influence cancer progression by impairing immune surveillance of malignant cells and promoting tumor growth.

As physician Gabor Mate emphasizes, chronic stress is often rooted in unresolved trauma - whether from childhood adversity, past abuse, or ongoing toxic relationships and environments. Traumatic experiences become embedded in our subconscious mind and alter the way our stress response system develops. They prime the body to remain in a constant state of hypervigilance, unable to distinguish between real and perceived threats. Over time, this takes a biological toll as hormones are dysregulated and inflammatory processes take hold.

The impact of early life trauma is particularly profound. Adverse childhood experiences like neglect, abuse or family dysfunction have been shown to influence disease risk decades later through epigenetic changes - chemical modifications to our DNA that alter gene expression without changing the underlying genetic code. Stress experienced during sensitive developmental periods can essentially program the body for a pro-inflammatory lifestyle and weakened immunity over the lifespan.

When stress is ongoing and chronic rather than short-lived, our immune defenses are continually compromised. Cortisol and other stress hormones essentially put our body into survival mode, prioritizing rapid responses to perceived danger over long term immune protection and repair. This leaves us vulnerable to infections, autoimmune flares, and even cancer if the underlying causes of chronic stress - such as unresolved trauma - are not addressed.

Making lifestyle changes to manage stress is important, but for some, deeper therapeutic work may also be needed to overcome trauma's enduring effects on health and wellbeing.

Check-out this article on ‘breathwork’ - it’s a game-changer.

Anxiety: Causes, Symptoms, and Treatment Options

Anxiety is a common mental health condition that affects millions of people worldwide.

It’s a feeling of unease, such as worry or fear, that can be mild or severe.

Anxiety can be caused by a variety of factors, and while many people think it’s linked with genetics or brain chemistry, it is more of a response to life experiences, personal beliefs around self-worth and environmental factors.

While it’s normal to experience anxiety from time to time, persistent and excessive anxiety can interfere with daily activities, quality of life and your relationships.

Understanding anxiety can help reduce stigma and increase awareness about the importance of mental health.

How Your Body Pays The Price For Chronic Anxiety

Bessel van der Kolk - a psychiatrist and author - studies the results of chronic anxiety in people. In his book, The Body Keeps Score, he outlines the result of a person’s body drip feeding stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline over months, if not years.

Apart from the discomfort of anxiety, you - or people you know experiencing anxiety (or chronic stress) - may have developed conditions such as:

  • Irritable Bowel Syndrome

  • Fibro Myalgia

  • Food allergies

  • Lupus

  • Gut problems

Anxiety is a state where your body lets you know you’re not safe - if you don’t listen to your body, then the build up of toxicity in your system can cause chronic health problems that many medical practitioners don’t have answers for.

What is Anxiety?

Anxiety is a normal reaction to stress that everyone experiences from time to time. However, when anxiety becomes excessive, it can interfere with daily activities and cause significant distress. Anxiety disorders are the most common mental health disorders in the United States, affecting approximately 40 million adults aged 18 and older each year [1].

Types of Anxiety

There are several types of anxiety disorders, including generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, specific phobias, and separation anxiety disorder.

GAD is characterized by excessive and persistent worry about everyday events and activities, while panic disorder involves sudden and unexpected panic attacks.

Social anxiety disorder is marked by intense fear and avoidance of social situations, and specific phobias involve irrational fear of specific objects or situations.

Separation anxiety disorder is a common disorder in children, but it can also occur in adults and is characterized by excessive fear or anxiety about separation from attachment figures [2].

Symptoms and Signs

The symptoms and signs of anxiety disorders can vary depending on the type of disorder.

However, common symptoms include excessive worry or fear, restlessness, irritability, difficulty concentrating, muscle tension, and sleep disturbances.

Individuals with panic disorder may experience sudden and unexpected panic attacks, which can cause symptoms such as rapid heart rate, sweating, trembling, and shortness of breath.

Social anxiety disorder can cause intense fear and avoidance of social situations, while specific phobias can cause extreme fear and avoidance of specific objects or situations [3].

References

Anxiety and Depression Association of America. (n.d.). Understand the Facts. Retrieved November 9, 2023, from https://adaa.org/understanding-anxiety

Psychology Today. (n.d.). Anxiety. Retrieved November 9, 2023, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/anxiety

Mayo Clinic. (2021, August 26). Anxiety disorders. Retrieved November 9, 2023, from https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/anxiety/symptoms-causes/syc-20350961

Causes of Anxiety

Anxiety disorders are complex and can be caused by a combination of genetic and environmental factors. Below are two sub-sections that discuss the most common causes of anxiety.

Genetic Factors

Research has shown that anxiety disorders can run in families, suggesting a genetic component to the disorder. According to the Mayo Clinic, people with a family history of anxiety disorders are more likely to develop the condition themselves. Additionally, studies have identified specific genes that may be associated with anxiety disorders.

However, it is important to note that having a genetic predisposition to anxiety does not mean that a person will necessarily develop the disorder. Environmental factors also play a significant role in the development of anxiety.

Environmental Triggers

Environmental factors can trigger anxiety disorders in people who are genetically predisposed to the condition. Calm Clinic explains that stressful life events, such as the death of a loved one, a traumatic experience, or a major life change, can trigger anxiety in some people.

Other environmental factors that can contribute to anxiety disorders include:

Chronic stress

Substance abuse

Certain medications

Chronic medical conditions

Hormonal imbalances

It is important to note that not everyone who experiences these environmental triggers will develop an anxiety disorder. However, they can increase the risk of developing the condition in people who are genetically predisposed to anxiety.

Effects of Anxiety on Mental and Physical Health

Anxiety is a common mental health disorder that affects millions of people worldwide. It can have a significant impact on both mental and physical health.

Mental Health Effects of Anxiety

Anxiety can cause a range of mental health symptoms, including:

  • Excessive worry and fear

  • Irritability

  • Difficulty concentrating

  • Restlessness

  • Insomnia

These symptoms can be debilitating and can significantly impact a person's quality of life. Anxiety can also lead to the development of other mental health disorders, such as depression and substance abuse.

Physical Health Effects of Anxiety

Anxiety can also have a range of physical health effects, including:

  • Rapid breathing or heart rate

  • Lightheadedness or dizziness

  • Abdominal pain

  • Indigestion

  • Chest pain

  • Fatigue

  • Insomnia

  • Headache

In the short term, anxiety increases a person's breathing and heart rate, which can cause these physical symptoms. However, chronic anxiety can have more severe physical health effects, including an increased risk of heart disease, high blood pressure, and stroke.

It is essential to seek treatment for anxiety to manage both the mental and physical health effects. Treatment options can include therapy, medication, and lifestyle changes. With proper treatment, many people with anxiety can manage their symptoms and improve their quality of life.

Anxiety Management and Treatment

Anxiety is a common mental health condition that affects millions of people worldwide. Fortunately, there are several ways to manage and treat anxiety, including therapy options and medication and supplements.

Medication and Supplements

Medication can be an effective way to manage anxiety. The main options for medication are selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) and serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs) [3]. These medications work by increasing the levels of certain neurotransmitters in the brain that regulate mood.

In addition to medication, there are several supplements that may help manage anxiety. Some of the most popular supplements for anxiety include:

Omega-3 fatty acids [4]

Ashwagandha [5]

Valerian root [6]

It's important to note that while supplements may be helpful, they should not be used as a replacement for medication or therapy. Always talk to a healthcare professional before starting any new supplement regimen.

Overall, managing and treating anxiety requires a combination of therapy, medication, and supplements. It may take some trial and error to find the right combination of treatments that work best for each individual. With the right treatment plan, however, anxiety can be effectively managed and treated.

[1] Mayo Clinic. Anxiety disorders - Diagnosis and treatment. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/anxiety/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20350967

[2] National Institute of Mental Health. Anxiety Disorders. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/anxiety-disorders/index.shtml

[3] UpToDate. Generalized anxiety disorder in adults: Management. https://www.uptodate.com/contents/generalized-anxiety-disorder-in-adults-management

[4] Healthline. 12 Science-Backed Benefits of Omega-3 Fatty Acids. https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/17-health-benefits-of-omega-3

[5] Healthline. 12 Proven Health Benefits of Ashwagandha. https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/12-proven-ashwagandha-benefits

[6] Healthline. Valerian Root: Benefits, Side Effects, and Dosage. https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/valerian-root

Living with Anxiety

Anxiety is a common mental health condition that affects millions of people worldwide. It can interfere with daily life and make it difficult to manage stress and relationships. However, there are ways to cope with anxiety and live a fulfilling life.

Self-Care Tips

Self-care is an essential part of managing anxiety. Here are some self-care tips that can help individuals living with anxiety:

Exercise regularly: Exercise is a powerful stress reducer that can improve mood and overall health. It is recommended to start slowly and gradually increase the amount and intensity of physical activities.

Practice deep breathing: Focused, deep breathing practices can help manage immediate feelings of anxiety. Breathing in for 4 counts and breathing out for 4 counts for 5 minutes can help to reduce anxiety.

Get enough sleep: Sleep is crucial for physical and mental health. It is recommended to aim for 7-8 hours of sleep per night.

Eat a healthy diet: Eating a well-balanced diet can help to manage anxiety symptoms. It is recommended to eat plenty of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins.

Support Systems

Having a support system in place can help individuals living with anxiety to feel less alone and more empowered. Here are some ways to build a support system:

Talk to a therapist: Therapy can be a helpful tool for managing anxiety. A therapist can provide support, guidance, and coping strategies.

Join a support group: Support groups can provide a safe space for individuals to share their experiences and connect with others who are going through similar struggles.

Lean on friends and family: Friends and family can provide emotional support and practical help during difficult times. It is important to communicate openly and honestly with loved ones about anxiety and how they can help.

Living with anxiety can be challenging, but it is possible to manage symptoms and live a fulfilling life. By practicing self-care and building a support system, individuals can take control of their anxiety and thrive.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the 6 types of anxiety disorders?

According to Psych Central, the six types of anxiety disorders are generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), panic disorder, social anxiety disorder (SAD), obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and specific phobias.

What are 5 signs you have anxiety?

Verywell Health suggests that some common signs of anxiety include excessive worry, restlessness, fatigue, difficulty concentrating, and irritability. Other symptoms may include muscle tension, sleep disturbances, and physical symptoms such as sweating or trembling.

How to deal with anxiety?

The Anxiety and Depression Association of America recommends seeking professional care, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or medication. Other strategies may include relaxation techniques, exercise, and avoiding caffeine or alcohol.

What is the best way to deal with anxiety?

The best way to deal with anxiety may vary depending on the individual's specific needs and circumstances. Mayo Clinic suggests that a combination of medication and therapy may be effective for some individuals, while others may benefit from lifestyle changes such as exercise or stress management techniques.

How can I calm my anxiety fast?

Verywell Mind suggests several techniques for quickly calming anxiety, including deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, visualization, and mindfulness exercises.

Severe anxiety symptoms

Severe anxiety symptoms may include panic attacks, intense fear or terror, chest pain, difficulty breathing, or feelings of detachment from reality. If you are experiencing severe anxiety symptoms, it is important to seek immediate medical attention.

Do you feel worthless at times, like your needs don't matter? Just imagine … you were writing in your journal, would it sound like this?

Here’s an entry from a young woman’s journal who’s sick of constantly worrying, walking on egg shells and people pleasing. If you recognise yourself here, and you agree it’s time to change - get your free guide here today.

Dear you,

I don't even know where to begin. I feel like I'm drowning in stress and anxiety, and I can't seem to find a way out. I just don't feel good enough, no matter what I do.

I'm constantly worried about what other people think of me. Am I doing enough? Am I saying the right things? Am I good enough to be here? These thoughts are constantly running through my head, and I can't seem to turn them off.

I even have a PhD in apologizing for things that aren't even my fault!!!

I know that I'm a people pleaser, and it's exhausting. I'm always trying to make everyone happy, but it feels like no matter what I do, it's never enough. I'm always worried that people will think I'm not good enough, that I'm not capable, that I'm not smart enough.

I try to remind myself that I am enough, but it's hard. It feels like I'm fighting against this constant tide of negativity, and I'm just not strong enough to keep it at bay.

I don't know how to relax. Even when I'm not doing anything, my mind is racing, going over all the things I could be doing, all the things I should be doing. I can't seem to just be still and enjoy the moment. It's like I'm always on edge, always waiting for something to go wrong.

Remember that vibrant you?

The one felt she belonged?

It’s time for her to shine again!

I don't want to feel like this anymore. I don't want to be constantly stressed and anxious. I want to feel happy and confident and at peace. But I don't know how to get there.

I joke that I’m the master of the fake smile and nod.

I just keep it all bottled up inside, and it's like a pressure cooker waiting to explode. It's hard to talk to other people about this, too. I don't want to burden them with my problems, and I don't want them to think less of me because of my anxiety.

I know I need to take care of myself, but it's hard. It feels like there's always something more important to do, someone else who needs my attention. I don't want to be selfish, but I don't know how to balance taking care of myself with taking care of others.

Change begins with choice

Make the day you choose you.

Get your free guide today.

I wish I could just be confident and sure of myself, like other people seem to be. I wish I didn't have to constantly second-guess myself and my decisions. I wish I could just be happy with who I am and not feel like I have to constantly strive to be better.

I'm pretty sure my mantra is 'don't rock the boat’.

But maybe that's the problem. Maybe I'm always trying to be better because I don't feel good enough in the first place. Maybe if I could just accept myself for who I am, flaws and all, I could finally find some peace.

It's hard to do that, though. It's hard to accept yourself when you feel like you're not good enough. But maybe that's the only way forward. Maybe I need to stop trying to be perfect and start accepting myself for who I am.

I don't know if I'm ready for that yet, though. It's scary to let go of the idea of perfection, to let go of the constant striving. But maybe it's worth it if it means finding some peace and happiness.

I don't know what the future holds, but I do know that I can't keep going like this. I need to find a way to manage my anxiety and stress, to stop being such a people pleaser, and to start accepting myself for who I am.

I don't know how to do that yet, but I'm willing to try. I'm willing to take small steps, to reach out for help, to be vulnerable and open. Maybe that's the only way forward.

I'm always worried about how other people perceive me. Do they think I'm smart enough? Pretty enough? Do they think I'm a good enough friend or a good enough partner? These thoughts are constantly running through my head, and I can't seem to shake them.

It’s like I'm the ultimate yes-woman, but I'm also pretty good at silently resenting everyone for it

I feel like I'm always on display, and I’m constantly worried about whether or not I'm meeting everyone's expectations. But the truth is, I don't think my needs matter. I put everyone else's needs above my own because I don't want to rock the boat, but it's starting to take a toll on me.

I feel like I'm constantly walking on eggshells, trying to make sure everyone else is happy, but I'm not happy. I'm not happy with who I am, and I'm not happy with the way people treat me. It's like they can sense my lack of confidence, and they treat me accordingly.

I feel like I'm always being judged, like people are constantly scrutinizing my every move. And it's not just strangers or acquaintances, it's even the people closest to me. I feel like they're always picking apart my flaws, and it's making me feel even more worthless.

I try to tell myself that I'm good enough, that I don't need anyone else's approval to be happy, but it's hard. It's hard to believe that when the world seems to be constantly telling me otherwise.

I wish I could just be confident in myself, to know that I'm enough just the way I am. But it's hard when it feels like everyone else is always expecting more from me, when they're always pointing out my flaws and shortcomings.

Who knew I had an allergy to saying 'no'!!!

I feel like I'm always apologizing, always saying sorry for things that aren't even my fault. But I'm so afraid of causing conflict or making someone upset that I'll take the blame for anything, even if I had nothing to do with it.

It's like I'm constantly trying to please everyone else, but no one is trying to please me. And it's not like I expect people to cater to my every whim, but it would be nice if they could at least consider my feelings and needs every once in a while.

I don't know how to break out of this cycle, though. I don't know how to start putting my own needs first, or how to stop seeking validation from others. It's like I'm stuck in this rut, and I don't know how to climb out of it.

I feel like a chameleon, always changing to fit in with whoever I'm with.

I'm so tired of feeling like I'm not good enough, of feeling like I'm constantly failing. I wish I could just be happy with who I am, flaws and all, but it's hard when it feels like the rest of the world is always telling me I'm not good enough.

But maybe that's the key. Maybe I need to stop listening to everyone else and start listening to myself. Maybe I need to start putting my own needs first, and stop trying to be everything to everyone.

It's scary, though. It's scary to think about changing, about putting myself out there and being vulnerable. But I don't think I can keep feeling like this, feeling worthless and insignificant.

Yep, I'm the ultimate peacekeeper, even if it means sacrificing my own peace.

I don't know what the future holds, but I know I need to start making changes. I need to start believing in myself, in my own worth and value, and stop seeking validation from others.

I know it's not going to be easy, but I have to try. I have to try to break out of this cycle, to start living for myself and not for everyone else.

Time to thrive

Isn’t it time you chose you - and discovered what it takes to thrive - not just survive?

It's hard to imagine what that will look like, though. I've spent so long trying to please everyone else that I don't even know what I want or need anymore. But maybe that's where I need to start, by figuring out what it is that I want and need, and then working towards that.

Is it weird that I walk past a vending machine and know how it feels - always ready to dispense whatever people want from me.

It's scary to think about putting myself first, though. I'm so used to thinking about everyone else that it feels selfish to even consider my own needs. But I know that's not true. I know that it's important to take care of myself, to make sure I'm happy and healthy.

I think part of the problem is that I've always equated perfection with acceptance. I thought that if I could just be perfect, then everyone would accept me and love me. But I'm starting to realize that's not true. No one is perfect, and trying to be perfect is just setting myself up for failure.

I need to start accepting myself, flaws and all. I need to stop thinking that I'm not good enough, and start realizing that I'm worthy of love and acceptance just the way I am.

If I took a personality test I’m pretty sure I’d be 50% accommodating and 50% passive-aggressive!??!!!

It's going to be a long road, though. I know that. It's not going to be easy to break out of these patterns and start living for myself. But I'm willing to try. I'm willing to put in the work to start believing in myself and my own worth.

I know there will be setbacks along the way, moments where I slip back into old habits and patterns. But I have to remember that it's a journey, not a destination. I have to keep moving forward, even if it's just one step at a time.

I don't know what the future holds, but I know that I can't keep living like this. I can't keep feeling worthless and insignificant. I have to start believing in myself, and I have to start making changes.

So, I'm going to take a deep breath, and I'm going to start. I'm going to start by putting myself first, by figuring out what it is that I want and need, and then working towards that. And I'm going to start by believing in myself, in my own worth and value.

It's not going to be easy, but I know I can do it. I know that I'm strong enough to make these changes and to start living for myself. And I know that in the end, it will be worth it.

How To Be Happy: Activate Your Natural Hormones

How To Be Happy: Activate Your Natural Hormones

Imagine waking each morning and switching on feelings of joy and happiness simply by activating your natural hormones. With this technique you’ll have the power to lift your mood - just like adding a vitamin supplement to your morning routine or exercising can.

While the scientific answer to activating your natural hormones is longer (and way more complex), the short answer is that you CAN do this easily. In this article you’ll see the simplest and fastest ways to give yourself a daily D.O.S.E. of joy and happiness that will lift your mood, orient you towards feeling brighter and support you in positive ways.

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How To Calm Stressful Emotions In Your Body (Even If You’re Feeling Trapped In Worry & Anxiety)

How To Calm Stressful Emotions In Your Body (Even If You’re Feeling Trapped In Worry & Anxiety)

What if this worry and anxiety never stops … what if I can’t change things … what if my worst fears are true. Those thoughts can feel like time bombs in you mind that are ready to go off at any moment. Here’s how to break the cycle of worry that leads to anxiety welling up in an uncontrollable way with simple somatic techniques.

What Are Somatic Techniques?

Somatic techniques help you raise awareness of what’s happening in your body and responding to this through movement.

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10 Tips To Manage Tough Times

10 Tips To Manage Tough Times

Change is inevitable. While you may want things to remain the same, that’s like asking for it to be sunny every day. It wouldn’t take long for the world’s seasons to be out of whack and drought to be the new norm.

Change brings new opportunities, even if it doesn’t feel that way in the beginning.

To manage this inevitability, building the resilience to ride the waves of change – through all the ups and downs – will help you not only survive, but thrive.

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How To Break Free From Your Inner Bully: Stop Being A "Placater"

How To Break Free From Your Inner Bully: Stop Being A "Placater"

Virginia Satir (1916–88) was a family therapist with an eye for seeing what those she worked with couldn’t.

In her work with families, Satir categorised 5 types of behaviour she noticed people defaulting to. These behavioural defaults emerged in times of discomfort — around arguments or moments of emotional charge.

In this article, we’re looking at one category: the placater. You may see yourself here. Or not.

How a person acts during times of high emotion says much about his or her emotional adjustment and emotional intelligence — their EQ (emotional intelligence quotient).

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